Life is...

[Hawkeye! :3]

Life is...filled with terrible choices.

As a human being, we all make stupid choices. But when you're a teen, you just so happen to make more. No this isn't just because all teens are friggin idiots, our brains actually do go screwy before they finally mature. It's only natural that teens make stupid choices, not just because our generation is screwed.........the aftermaths of bad choices tho still aren't pleasant. I was with two friends and, being stupid teenage girls, we decided to go to the local grocery store for the hell of it. Once we got there, my one friend decided to get two cans of monster. My other friend got a thing of cookie dough and a sugary orange soda. Me being the responsible diabetic....i got a coke zero. Yeah, I'm usually the responsible one. Then again without me I'm pretty sure my friends would be stuck in all the situations i managed to get them (and myself) out of. Once we were at checkout (after we pranced down the frozen aisle and sang to a random song) I saw a person that I knew very well and I really didn't want to see at the time. I just stood there confused when she came up to us. It took me awhile to say something. "MOM?" I was really confused. She laughed and said she saw us walk in. my friend nervously said "hi Mrs. (ehhh...eye? Sure, my last names now eye. Hawk Eye.) Eye!" once my mom walked away and we were leaving, my other friend didnt see her and strutted out singing "walk up to da club like 'wat up? I GOTTA BIG C**K!'" .......im pretty sure my mom heard us because i still saw her in the back and everyone at the checkout line near the door stared at her. We ran out with our food and ate when we got to my friend's house. Once at my friends house (she thought we were sleeping over) she drank a can of monster and ate cookie dough. Again, i only had a piece and drank my coke zero. my other friend drank her soda and ate a fraction of the cookie dough. The aftermath? After my friend drank her two monsters, and after my friend ate more cookie dough, we found out a sleepover wasn't possible. But the end wasn't pretty. My friend excused herself and puked, while my other friend left early for her stomach ache. the whole time i was shaking my head but i felt bad. My friend got better after she puked (and she just HAD to tell me about all the colors) and we just sat around until my mom picked me up. whether or not shes better, idk. hopefully.....so the lesson? STAY THE F**K AWAY FROM MONSTER. OR ENERGY DRINKS FOR THAT MATTER. i can drink it, but i dont want to and if i drink two cans ill be sent to the hospital in a heartbeat. :/

also...........................GET ON THE SITE!! PLEASE???

Hawkeye
MEOW.

[Hawkeye! :3]

Life is........FULL OF BASS DROPS. WHEEEEEEEEEEW WUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUB

I dont why i wrote that. Then again, I dont even understand my own way of thinking. Buuuuut i just let it go and say what my crazy mind thinks now. XD

ITS SUMMMMMMMERRRRRRR!!!!! WHEEEWWW!! Its good and bad for me though.........
Pro: NO SCHOOL!! Con: Oh wait, now you have little to do...
Pro: YOU CAN BE WITH FWENDS! Con: Not as much as you can in school...and the Pro only works if you have actual close friends you can dial up. :/
Pro: (depending on your region) YOU CAN SWIM IN THE WATER WHEN ITS HOT! Con: HAHA THATS FRIGGIN HILARIOUS. I HAVE TO SWIM WHEN ITS 7 IN THE MORNING AND IT CAN GET COLD. WHO WANTS TO TAKE A DIP IN WATER NOW???

thats actually one thing i should talk about: Swim team. The thing is, swim team is like a minature version of Mean Girls. You have the cliques, you meet the oblivious Cadys (who eventually turn darkside), and you have to deal with the one Regina and her posse. But this is just summer swim team. Really, half of the girls go somewhere else as a school. But in our school swim team, its nasty stuff. Last year was a crash and burn for me...but this year, I'm positive It'll be more of a dip in acid then beated up with rotting fish and metal baseball bats. My friend who REALLY hates this girl im usually kind of sort of dragged with on swim team wants to join next year. But as far as i know, she has barely been on even a summer swim team. I just met her this year, but what ive learned is to never under estimate her. you think she cant do something, then she'll do it ten times better than expected. So there isnt much doubt that she'll make it on the team. But the two have fought before with threats and names, and of course I'm always thrown in the middle. I can't predict what will EXACTLY happen, but i know for sure it will be a living hell.

wellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll i was forced on a camping trip. For my brother's boy scouts. Whoopee. The guys obviously talk of things girls shouldnt over hear, so they always tried to shut up when i was around. One accidently said something and apologized immediately. I had to calm him down by telling him i was used to worse (i wasnt kidding. Some of the things i gotta deal with...) but what comes with camping is bugs. I cant exactly go to the bathroom while getting stared at by two huge colorful spiders. and the mosquitos...OH MY GOD THE MOSQUITOS. by the last night i was so done with them i just smacked a big one with a book i was reading and i just kept reading on like nothing happened. Unlike the boy scouts, we were in cabins. they were nice, except we were the only ppl in the area. all the other cabins for families were empty. Even worse, when my parents had to leave me at midnight to help my brother's troop, my dad gave me a ratskinner (a sort of knife) and gave me tips on using it. he then left saying "it's just for protection!" He knew i was scared in the first place. yeah i got pretty mad at him later. What was weird was when my parents let me play with a fire (yeah, im a sophmore and i play with fire. PROBLEM?) AND the ratskinner was nearby.......the night was definitely so much fun................SHAT. I SAID TOO MUCH. GOT TO GO. YOU HEARD NOTHING.


Hawkeye
FALCON KIIICKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!

[Hawkeye! :3]

Life is a baseball to the face if you don't have a bat

This summer has been one of the best ive had in years, yet I'm hitting a sort of bump. For one, my bloodsugars have been haywire lately and because of this, I can't learn how to drive yet. I have to wait for my next doctors appointment for the new verdict, pretty much pissing me off. Even worse, the inflammation in my body from the blood sugars may have kick started a illness that has been fatal as an end result for family members, celiac disease (gluten intolerance). I took a simple test and the results were positive, but there were many times when it was also a negative so I have to go to a doctor to get a more complex test to see if it's true. While my medical problems are getting larger, so are my aunt's. For the past couple months, she's been in and out of the hospital. They recently found a large tumor inside her large intestine, creating Mesothelioma. From what I've heard, the tumor is too large for surgery. They can either do nothing or help her get stronger. Being a strong Irish woman she is pushing to get stronger. This wouldn't normally phase me if my parents didn't tell me that we along with other family are going to PA for an "early birthday party". It would make sense if it was in the same month as the party date (around second week of July) but her birthday is in September. My parents know that my intelligence doesn't coordinate with my blonde hair, so they probably don't have to tell me that she'll most likely pass away within the next few months. What's a killer too is that I found out about the driving thing, the Celiac, and the Mesothelioma all in the same day. It was pretty damn hard keeping a good mood up for my friend who came over later. I think she noticed something was wrong though when she showed me a song to listen to that was VERY sad (A man who is madly in love with a woman proposes to her before he dies from sickness) she claimed that it made her cry so she figured I'd cry less than halfway into it because well....i cry an awful lot sometimes........ The whole time I just sat there though, I didn't feel any of the usual kick in the stomach when I listened to it. I was so stunned from all the news that I heard, I couldn't even pull off a fake cry. She stared at me for a moment when the song was over, and the rest of the time she acted suspicious around me. I would tell her of everything, but I don't want her feeling bad for me.......damn i must sound like a hypocrite. Ok here's the thing about me: I like telling people of new information, bad or good. I don't know why, i just feel like I need to release it somewhere so it's out there and not locked in my head. Of course I keep secrets for my friends, because that's someone else's information, their story to tell. But I hate it when they feel bad for me. I've received so much sympathy all my life, many times I have felt different, like a freak. Whenever I have to tell someone about my diabetes, they usually say "I'm so sorry!" That's natural, but if they act different around me after that because of it, it drives me nuts. Like they say, actions speak louder than words. Back in 8th grade, I kind of didn't like this one girl that was supposedly friends with everybody but me. There were many cuss-offs and it was sort of a joke, but it sort of wasn't. We had this thing in school where we went on a field trip to a church and talked about our dark secrets openly in front of a small group. After that, a friend of mine told all of us that she was in his group and how he found out that she had depression. He then told everyone because of it to be kinder to her and more respectful. I don't know what pissed me off that day, the fact that they apparently weren't as nice as they could be all along, or that they would act different around her for something like that. So the next day, everyone stopped joking around with her. They just kindly talked to her. Of course when he told everyone they all told me to try to be nice. That day I just went along with what I usually did. Make fun, tell jokes, it was the usual. But that pissed off my friends because I wasn't being respectful. If I could have, I wouldve told them how disrespectful they were technically being. Hell, my friend wasnt even supposed to tell us about her. It was supposed to be hush-hush! She told us later in the year about her depression, and I found out more things after that, but I'm still mad today for what my friends did. Whether or not she found out that we knew about her depression beforehand, I don't know. They treated her like a fragile specimen, and it killed me despite how much i despised her. So if you hear about someone who got a new disease or has a disability, for the love of Pete don't talk down to them. They're human and they're the same person as they ever were. Barely anything of their personality would change dramatically unless under abnormal circumstances. Take care guys. I don't know what my schedule will be like throughout the next couple months, but I'll try to keep in touch and I'll find out ASAP and tell of it in case...you know.......the Mesothelioma is the end of the road for my aunt.


Hawkeye
MMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPP.

[Hawkeye! :3]

Life is...weird for e'erbody.

Ok so considering how much crap ive been dealing with since my Aunt's passing, I want to switch it up and make this post just for sh*ts and giggles. Since I'm a weird child with a weird life, I'll share the facts of my life that many people find... Odd. Everyone has their own weird factoids after all!! I'll name the fact about me and (considering some won't make much sense) I'll give out a description below it! LETS START!

1.) When I was born, I didn't cry.

Unlike all of the other kids, I didn't cry AT ALL. Apparently I just sat there taking it all in. Turns out though part of the reason for that was the fact that i wasn't breathing. HOORAY! So they threw me into the ICU and thank the sweet lord Jesus they found the problem and used tubes to get all the mucus out of me. ISN'T THAT JUST PEACHY? oh and I had jaundice... I was different from the start. .___.

2.) According to my friend, I'm weird because I love how peaceful and spiritual cemeteries are.

Yes, I am well aware 6 feet deep there is a boatload of bodies. But I find cemeteries so quiet and serene, so really, if I could choose anywhere to think and be by myself, let it be the cemetery.

3.) I believe in ghosts too...

Yeaaaaah I'm secretly interested in death. But I believe in ghosts, spirits, that sort of stuff. Call me what you want, but I have seen spirits and talked to a few. My aunt that just passed away? Yup. Talked to her too. She's a little restless at the moment... especially considering she paces around my room at night. And no, not my parents. They're never awake at 1 in the morning...

4.) I HATE OUIJA BOARDS.

Thinking about the spiritual stuff a lot so I might as well... Ouija boards freak me out. Some people think they're cool, some think they're just boards. But whenever I'm in a room with one I always feel.... weird. I can't explain it well, but I always feel like they're glaring at me.

5.) I'm really afraid of flies.

OH LAWDY THE BUZZIN'. AND THE EYES!!! AND HOLY CRAP WHO KNOWS WHAT THEY LANDED ON!!! FREAKY PARASITES!!!!! *swats the room wildly*

6.) I was a b*tch when I was younger

I was the one girl that never gave two sh*ts! I can't even remember how many kids (esp boys) that I shoved for crying out loud!

7.) I caught a bullfrog on a fishing trip.

JEREMIAH WAS A BULLFROG!!! AND HE WAS MY BEST FRIEND!!!..........exactly why I only did chorus for a year. :I

8.) If you get deep with me, odds are you won't get out of it until an hour later.

What I mean by that is that when it comes to philosophical meanings and how much power an emotion can consume or even a tragic event in history, i can go on. I went on a rant about the Holocaust and the conversation lasted 2 hours. I also went on a long talk about how powerful the emotion anger is and that lasted a pretty long time too.... HOORAY FOR RANTS!!

9.) I'VE HEARD TOO MANY BLONDE JOKES.

I'm a bright blonde and usually that has a price. Not only do people think that it's not real, but I also hear a lot of blonde jokes. That didn't bother me when I was little though because when I was 5 my hair was pure white.

10.) I didn't know who Hawkeye was when I made the username.

I am not joking. I just thought how badass it would be to have the eye sight of a hawk. Trust me, when the Avengers trailer came out, I was hollering "WHO DAT?!? HE STOLE MAH NAME!!!" I won't forgive him. Ever.

11.) I'm Batman.

BUM BUM BUUUUUUUMM!!!! I pranked a guy by texting him under that alias....... he still doesn't know who it is.

12.) I saved a friend from falling off a speeding boat

I have some accident prone friends. He wanted to climb on top of the roof where people were sunbathing while me and his brother were up there. He slipped and I grabbed his hand and hoisted him up. It may not seem as scary now, but we were 8 and the boat WAS going pretty fast! In the action though I lost my water proof camera the idiot on the intercom yelled at us saying "DON'T THROW THINGS OVERBOARD!!" Oh so you rather let me throw the kid in with the snapping turtles?!?!

13.) I never watched the Nightmare Before Christmas

Please don't kill me! but my parents thought it would be a bad influence so they never let me watch it.

14.) I hate gum.

GASSSSPPP!!!! SORRY OK I JUST DONT CHEW GUM.

Geez that was alot!!!! Well that's all I kind think of at the moment but know that many people have their weird facts that they wish that they can blurt out in public! HOORAY! LEARNING!

ADIOS!

Hawkeye
READING RAAIIINBOOWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!