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Post by poochyena on Sept 11, 2011 15:59:39 GMT -5
At the momment is my Journal/Blog on this site. I need some time for self expression and to talk to people who won't judge me. I will probably rant alot and tell you about stupid things that happen in my life that bother me. Everything I write here will be ture, except for names and places to protect the identities of me and the people I write about. At the mommment... my life is crazy and a back story would definetley help. But I don't like diving into my past. If an event occurs that requires me to explain something so you guys can understand what i'm talking about, then i will explain. But I'm not going to look back if i dont need to. As you can see, this is not very neat at all. Its a blog, a journal, and my way of self expresion so i can share it with you. So it doesnt have to be neat. Even though this is my journal, feel free to comment, interact, and question any thing i write. I'm cool with people talking here. Also, feel free to ask me for advice. I've seen alot, and I'd be glad to help.
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Post by poochyena on Sept 12, 2011 14:20:58 GMT -5
At the momment, I'm mourning my ex. AGAIN. Just to run it by sam and night, Steven was the one that was older than me that i really had feelings for. Anyway I can't belive that after so long I still wish i was with him. Really, its been all summer and i can't get him out of my head. Steven is my ex i had strong feelings for. He is two years older than me and shares my passion, band. Anyway, he asked me out and i was imediatley saying yes. really cared about him. Alot. That's what a real relationship is, care not likeing. Of course if your close and you care about, and you like them to, then plus one. Anyway, we dated from mid april to near the end of may. And things got weird. I really was happy with him, but i didn't want to put any "boyfriend/girlfriend" labels on it. Well, he has low self esteem and took that to mean i was worried about age difference, and i wasn't. So it was a misunderstanding, and we just stopped talking. After a while it just eneded completeley, and i tried to get him back. But i gave up and tried to be friends with him. fail. We didn't talk all summer, nor at all during may and june. I missed him. My friends knew i should get over him, and i did to. That's the wost part. Iv'e tried anything and everything to get over him, but to no avail. So 'm depressed now, i see him so often, and i feel likes its my fualt that we seperated.I just wish i could get him out of my head. And now he's starting at me. Whenever i look up during band to look at my friend who sits in his section, he's always looking at me. So i'm trying to figure out why. It's driving me nuts. So i'm driving my self insane. Any wa that's been on my mind alot. Don't think im a sappy drama addicted teenage girl. I'm not. just have a problem i'm trying to figure out. I'm probably the biggest anti drama tomboy you'll ever meet. Oh and my farts smelled like cheez-its today. It was weird, but funny. I was laughing during englished when i farted and found out what it smelled like. I was trying to hold it so iwas bitting my lip. The three boys around me had faces that said "don't even question whats going on with her." so that's what's going on at the momment.
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Post by poochyena on Sept 13, 2011 19:11:26 GMT -5
MOCKTRIAL AUDITIONS WERE TODAY. Please take note i am a total band geek. So my mornings start with band. And i have a nutty part in this one song. So yeah. My day is band, then french (blah), bio (easy), gym, then mocktrial room for study hall lunch, where i do homework, talk about mocktrial, and practive japanese. Then I have to sit through history, geometry is awsome and it goes by fast so i'm never bored, and i doodle in english. Wich reminds me. I have recentley suggested we have a plot twist. The plot is like anchient greek, which is amazing, but i was thinking that all pokemon games/shows have something to do with ledgendaries. So, i asked sam about incorperating a rather pissed off mew in the plot. After all, mew is so small and innocent. What if it went balistic? So yeah i thought that would be awsome, but i kinda want to make our own ledgendary, a pokemon that is native this region only. I already drew this beastly area, its in the sky, on a giant cloud, with a pentagon fortress/castle could thing. And inside, it just changes into different areas, the cloud forms into mountains, oceans, wha not, and its a never ending thing, and it's always changing, depending on our special ledgendary (or mew's) mood. And all the other ledgendaries are just around aero. What do you all think? I drew it up in english, and i want it to kinda be mew, unless one of you can draw and then make a sprite for our site's ledgendary.
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Post by poochyena on Sept 14, 2011 16:46:03 GMT -5
Guess who doodled her way through english?
{My doddle page is supposed to be here but it won't upload.}
Oh and i got understudy for mock trial. Woo hoo!
Quick thing you should know, my emotions are all wacked out right now between seeing my ex 24/7 and the two boys that have been hitting on me all summer. Problem? What one do i like? My emotions are completley fried. So yeah school is fun trying to make conversations with the three of them less awkward.
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Post by poochyena on Sept 15, 2011 19:47:53 GMT -5
Mocktrial was today. Everyone seems fond of me since i'm the back up for each of them. But it's alot i have to learn and get used to. I have to learn everyone's parts. And band, we got a new, really intense song. Its called the glory of christmas. I've been practicing all night to make the first part amazing. I don't think anyone else in my section practiced. Which means i might move from second to first chair. That's big. I would be section leader. And i really like second chair. I've always had it. I've beat colin out of second chair in sixth grade, and i was second again since colin came back, and our band director went for seniority. Then for eiigth thhe middle school meshed with highschool, so i got second behing colin again. And now i;m second to colin as a freshman. So I like second. And colin is an awsome person, i'm fine with being behind him. If anyone one else were in first chair trombone other than him, I'd have a problem with it. But since it is him, i;m fine. But the band director is really going for talent this year. SO i might end up getting switched over to first tommorow, which would be great, its a good achivement, but its weird cause i'm so used to colin there, and I don't want him mad. But we'll see.
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Post by poochyena on Sept 16, 2011 16:31:18 GMT -5
At the momment im getting reday for pep band. our band has a pep band that performs at all the home foot ball games. The band is amazing. our football team on the otherhand... Any way, im a true blue band geek, everyone knows that, and i would bleed for band so im always there. And to night, i sit in the stands from 6-10 playing, either sweating or freezing my but off. Im excited tough. The games are fun.So im going to do that and wont be on tonight. See you all tommorow! Ill tell you what happens.
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Post by poochyena on Sept 18, 2011 14:28:02 GMT -5
Band went well, it was a load of fun. YAY. Tomorrow i have a band feild trip to see a brass ensemble. Then i have work. I have an awsomne job though. I work in a toy store. Really, what beats that? I work in a toy store, and theres a pet store nearby, plus an ice cream palor. Its awsome. My life has been going pretty well. It is absolutley crazy though. Fun, crazy, and awsome. I'm glad i have Aero though. I worked yesterday, an was on the site most of last night. I worked this morning again, and I'll be around a bit till i go to the movies. So yeah, talk to you all when i can! (And reallly dont be afraid to post here if you want to. I'm fine with it)
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Post by poochyena on Sept 19, 2011 21:12:10 GMT -5
I'm very upset.Not that anyone in real life can tell. Unless i make it clear theres something wrong, or try to act like im trying to hide something, they can't tell. I hide my emotions very well. Not even the completley indifferent person i know that keeps his emotions hidden can tell when im upset. I can tell when hes upset and no one else can. Cuase im hiding as well. I'm telling you guys since i don't have to hide from you. But i don't want to have to keep diving in my past so i won't explain. Anywa, as much as you guys think im happy hyper and fun loving, i really am a negative person. I just constantly cover up. And when 'm here, everything is free and fun, and i can easily do that. But truth be told im dark and negative. but i like it that way. I have my pessamistec way of looking at things, but it makes me indifferent and good at advice. So yeah, im upset, but i don't want to do anything about it. So dont freak if i start posting crazy poetry, or dark sayings and evil warnings. Is just real shades coming out. Thats where my screen name came fround. Theres so many different versions and masks of my self i have. different SHADES of my self. Shades.
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Post by poochyena on Sept 24, 2011 17:41:44 GMT -5
Summing up the week: My friend who is a douche, martin, got a girlfriend he hardly knows. And she told me shes a boy hunter. Yay martin is finnaly going to learn how important trust is. So, tuesday was mock trial, wendsday was moctrial and windensemble definetes. I was the first on the list in my section. ANd colin is not on it and hes very mad at the director. He said i earned it, and he said the director put up the other kid to make colin mad. Which i agreee with. And then we had section practice on thursday, who ever had the better section. It was NO ONE. it was really pathetic. We did sectioanls the next day. Ty told Colin i played better then him. Colin didn't talk to anyone for the rest of the day. Wrote a direct for mocktrial, because this one kid didn't show up. I wrote it for him. Then, friday we didnt have a game to play it. So i stayed at Alice's for the night. We talked about how love sucks for tomboys, that the director was driving her nuts, and played gears of war 3 for 4 hours straight. Then we started to watch sleepy hallow, but we both fell asleep.Mocktrial was all morning till 2. Now i'm here. Ooh one more thing. There was a fight. Everyone was being pushed and slammed into each other. I got pushed around with the crowd and couldn't move out of it. I ended up smushed up with my ex boyfriend against the lockers. So that was intresting. I litertally felt his mood change and saw it change to. He was mad or fustrated i think. I just had that greeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaat kind of feeling.
That awkward momment when you get smushed up against your ex-boyfirend.
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Post by poochyena on Sept 25, 2011 18:51:43 GMT -5
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. I'm such a boy. I don't mid though. what i do mind is that my bestfriend (Andrew) thinks i like him. AGAIN. Thats why we fought last time. I dont need that crap. I DONT LIKE HIM THAT WAY. And can i please get shot in the face? I still see my ex EVERYWHERE and it hurts. I can't help but think of all the fun times we had together. I'm not being a girl when i say that. I'm being a person. I wish there was something still there. We werent all gushy and romantic, but we did random funny things, acted like idiots together. Fun stuff. So yeah that sucks. And i have no one to talk to about it. It makes me sad. Espeially not knowing if he hates me or not. Drives me nuts.
And i feel like this is useless. I can't tell whether you guys read it or not. I know hawk does... so THANK YOU HAWK
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Post by poochyena on Sept 28, 2011 21:50:06 GMT -5
Its been a rough week. Monday wasn' so bad... i went from band, to school, to work, to karate, then typed a bio research papper. OK i was ridiculously tired. But then i got a nasty headeache tuesday morning. I tried to push through the day. During bio, me and Ed had to jump chest deep in the marsh to catch fish for the rest of the wimpy class. So i had a change of clothes, but wet feet make me grumpy. Headache got worse, got a fever, went home, napped till four, missed mocktrial, realized my trombone was at school, got mad, did homework, bed, headeach was back today, ibprofen, home, homework till right now. Im pooped. I couldnt even practice, so im pissed, I hate not being able to practice, but my mom wouldnt let me. Band is my life. I hope i dont fail tommorow. And im definetley in all the bands we have at school. Me, and only one other person can say that. Go figure. I'm a die hard band geek.
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Post by poochyena on Oct 1, 2011 21:18:15 GMT -5
Help. Harry is my japanese buddy. were learning japanese together. He two years older than me. Taller than me. And is a ginger. Thats what i go for. Tried to ask him out today, crumpled up in a ball. Especially when a song came on reminding me of my ex. Woo. Wish me luck trying agin on monday.
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Post by poochyena on Oct 16, 2011 16:46:27 GMT -5
LIFE IS HELL. Really. Its so busy. everyfriday me and my friend go from school, to pep band, to one of our houses, to being up at the crack of dawn, to mock trial, to homework. THATS ONE HECK OF A LIFE! I'm so tired and busy its a miracle im on right now. I apologize for not being here. But im back and im roleplaying. Oh and the whole thing with harry.... a week after akward movies i aske him to homecoming. then he said he didn't want to go friday. So now im dateless, and well blah. I dont know if i like him or not any more. damn emotions. I hate them. with every pert of my soul i wish they would never exist. Oh, thats something you should rember. I have no heart. Just a soul. Which s rather independent, sneaky, and dark. Very dark. Where as harry, is souless. Hes told me many a time. SOOOOOOOOOOOO yeah my life is bluhuhuhsfnkwahbfuiahgkdfgbds,gn. times jahgulagvjngvbs plus asdbf6tq683756. and top it off my rounding it to askutybq37vcchbchaytbcwjayfcnuwy fi82. Yep. thats how it is. I wish i could go through all the details, or that i would have kept everyone updated, cause its been very crazy. Well off to rp. and to my hellish life. Oh yeah, and band has been great. Im tottaly the best, next to colin. But problem. Band fundraiser. all the money. It went poof.
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Post by poochyena on Oct 17, 2011 20:11:26 GMT -5
Shades made herself a pet!  shes making you all one too. Sam- Horse Night- Wolf Dragon- Bat Foxy- Fox Hawk- Duck Nine- Ferret Oshowott- Penguin Please request colors before wendsday night. so your dead line is wendsay morning. I tried to match up your animal as best i could with your name. |
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Post by poochyena on Oct 19, 2011 19:16:43 GMT -5
And fail. I really am a fail. Its ridiculous. I acidentaly ran a stand into my ex, and we started agruing and after two exchanges voices rose. We both kinda realized it and just turned and walked away. FAIL. im so stupid. So stupid. Mean while, Harry wants to go to lunch on sunday since were not going to homecoming, but i dont want to go cause i know he just feels bad and i dont want him to feel bad and go to lunch just cause he feels bad. Meanwhile, Colin has his girlfriend, and that is just confusing me. But, he, along with everyone else i know, thinks there is something wrong with me for even dating my ex, lat alone my closest friends knowing i still get pangs when i see him. I really hate emotions. Its cause im heartless. I have a soul, just no heart. But blah. Band is still good. I love it, and today is wacky wendsday. And boys are driving me up the wall. They crush on a girl and thier brains go fuzzy and what not, and blah. Its annoying. I don't understand when any of my guy friends, which admit they have all liked me at some point, even liked me at all. Ima timboy. Im heartless. Im totally unordinay, and im nothing like any other girls. I wear loose clothes, dont give a s*** about what people think, and im a loner. How do boys find that atractive?
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